TCF Fall Conference 2010

Last weekend (9/24 – 9/26), about 70 USC students and 30 Occidental College students gathered on Catalina Island for InterVarsity’s Fall Conference in the hopes of experiencing God in new ways, and experience Him they did. Our speaker, Erna Hackett, spoke about Jesus’ authority and identity and how we can let both those things heal us spiritually and physically.

The weekend started off with an empathic “Nobody is here by accident”. I believed this coming onto the island and I believed it even more leaving the island. Here are a few stories. I might be missing some details or getting some details wrong, but the essence of the stories are intact:

Two of our students had an important class field trip in Pasadena and had to take a late boat from Long Beach to Catalina. Student #1 couldn’t find a ride from Pasadena to Long Beach so he had to call his mom, who would have had to drive from Riverside to Pasadena, pick him up, then drive him down to Long Beach. Because of gas prices, she was unwilling to drive him… until she won $100 from a scratch lottery ticket.

Student #2 found a ride but got dropped off at the San Pedro dock instead of the Long Beach dock. By the time she realized she was at the wrong one, her ride was long gone. A student, new to L.A., alone at night, 20 miles from her dorm. So who steps in? A woman just getting off of work…. or should I say GOD. The student is offered a ride to Long Beach and makes it there just in time to get onto the boat.

Student #3 (not from the late boat, we’re done with that) is invited to Fall Conference by a friend but is an extremely busy person. Almost every weekend is packed so he initially declines. Then he looks at his calendar and realizes that the weekend of Fall Conference is one of his few weekends open, so at 3:00 AM on the day we leave for Fall Con, he decides he’s going to go. At the conference, he is convicted by the Spirit and comes to me for prayer. He is compelled to confess some of his deepest sins to me and to God and has a powerful experience of God’s love and forgiveness. Four days after we leave the island, he comes to me again and lists off concrete and practical ways that he is seeking real change.

I’m excited to see what else the Lord has is store for Trojan Christian Fellowship this year.

In addition to everything above, our community has also decided to actively pursue something that we’ve felt God nudging us towards for a while now: a multi-ethnic fellowship… which is a different blog post. But let this be a teaser: for a long time, our community has been a majority Asian group. I’d estimate about 60% Asian, 30% White, and 10% other. Our desire at the beginning of the school year was to have no one ethnic group be more than 50% of the fellowship (not from making projects out of people of other ethnic groups, but out of an obedience to reach the entire campus). At Fall Conference, our Asian percentage dropped to about 48%… is God doing something in the area of race and ethnicity in our community? I think so! Stay tuned for more…

 

Life in South L.A.

I’ve been living in South L.A. for a little over 5 weeks now. I’ve grown up in the suburbs and gone to college in the suburbs, so as you can imagine things are very different for me here. Here are a few thoughts and observations:

1. There aren’t a lot of Asians here that aren’t wearing cardinal red and/or gold. I don’t own anything in either of those colors.

2. Whether you’re eating it or selling it to make a living, food is important (it probably has more to do with the people living here than the area itself). Pretty much every morning between 7:30 and 8:30 there’s a lady carting tamales around outside screaming “TAMALEEEEEES!!!” Who needs an alarm clock when you have a tamale lady?

3. Ten different ice cream trucks come by every day (I’m exaggerating a bit, but I think I’ve heard every ice cream truck jingle that exists at this point).

4. There’s a place 2 blocks away from me called the 23rd Street Café. They have American/Mexican/Indian fusion foods. The owner is Indian, the cooks are Mexican and the customers are American. It’s my favorite place to eat and work. In fact, I’m writing this blog post at the café right now.

5. Parallel parking is an art form.

6. Finding parking is hard everywhere, especially on street cleaning days…. and 90% of the time the street doesn’t actually get cleaned when it’s supposed to.

7. South L.A. is 20 minutes away from everything. Except sometimes not because when it’s 20 minutes away from L.A. it could take an hour to get there.

8. Mosquitoes. That’s all I’m gonna say.

9. People from out of state sometimes ask me if I know any celebrities when they find out I live in SoCal. I always thought it was just a stereotype that celebrities are all over the place in L.A., which I still think is true. But I met one last Friday (the dude from Balls of Fury & Kung Fu Panda) and it wasn’t at some special event. So maybe there’s some truth to that. I’m gonna start a celebrity count.

10. I love the city. I don’t know why. I just do.

That’s it for now. I’ll let you know if anything else pops into my head.

 

I Love Gospel Music

How can you sing and not dance??! God probably dances. Just sayin’…

 

Musings on Life (with God) after College

For those of you who have been pestering me over the last 6 months about not updating my blog (all 3 of you), please stop! I’m back. This time for good (I hope). I know you’re thinking “How can we be sure that you’ll stay consistent?”… well I’m an unemployed college grad. So there.

I wanted to write this post a while ago but a combination of grief and confusion have prevented me from doing so. I’ll explain.

I pretty much went straight into the L.A. Urban Project after I graduated and it turned out to be a very important part of the journey of spiritual formation and refinement that God has had me on ever since I decided to follow Christ (or if you want to get theological, since before I was born… but that’s another blog post). This summer will go down as one of the pivotal times of my life, so it didn’t come as a surprise when I started to feel overly bitter about ending LAUP. I remember driving home on August 4th and saying out loud to the people in my car “I feel very bitter right now.” I fell into a slump after I got home and the next 2 weeks were filled with feelings of overwhelming emptiness, as if the things I experienced at LAUP could only have come from the context of LAUP and would never be experienced again, at least not by me. I fell into a state of what can only be described as “mourning”. Unfortunately, periods of mourning don’t just last 2 weeks so though things are much better now, there are still waves of sadness that come over me every now and then.

In the midst of this time of grief, I started to ask God why he would put me in this state. I was feeling all sorts of emotions and wishing that I could hold off on all the things that were coming. Well, those things came and I couldn’t hold them off because I had to start looking for a job and my internship with InterVarsity at USC was going to start real soon, so I was stuck in a weird mix of sadness, bitterness, loneliness, excitement, anticipation and worry. Those things don’t mix well. I was pretty confused as to why God would place me in this state.

I still don’t really know the answer to that question but what I can say with full confidence is that God is formulating something big. Something I realized is that I’ve been spending all this time complaining and asking for answers when really, the only prayer I need to be praying is “God, be glorified in all this.” So I began to pray that and he answered me! Weley, you can be sure that I’m doing that, and you can be sure that you’re a part of it.

AMEN to that.

So there it is. I’m just a small part of something grand that God has up his sleeves, and it feels good. With this realization, I’ve also come to see that there is NO reason to believe that the things I experienced at LAUP won’t also be true of my ministry at USC (or anywhere else). It just won’t look the same, and I need to be okay with that.

For all my “S” friends out there (see here for explanation), I have not forgotten about you. You’re probably bothered by all this big picture, long-term stuff, so maybe this will help: I’m already seeing God work in ways that I saw him work at LAUP. As I started praying and asking God to reveal to me what he would have for me as an intern at USC, I started to become more and more excited about working with minority students on campus, particularly Black and Latino students. I was asked to oversee the student leaders in the Webb Tower and Fluor Tower area on campus, and we started to pray together specifically for the minority students in the two buildings. Fluor Tower has two ethnic-specific floors, one is all-Black and the other is all-Latino, so we started praying that God would open doors for us to minister to the students there. God provided for us ways into both floors. Because of some of our students who already have friends living in those floors, we were able to connect with a lot of them. I’ve met so many great people and they don’t seem to be creeped out that there’s a random Asian guy who’s not a student anymore and didn’t graduate from USC hanging out in their suites. We’ve had fun conversations about language and culture and have been able to connect over similarities in our cultures too. What an honor to be able to share life with these students! The other day, one of the students on the Latino floor said “hey, you guys should come back and visit again!” and it made me excited to go back. Outside Webb and Fluor, other students in InterVarsity have been hard at work loving and serving students in the name of Jesus, and we are confident that God’s Kingdom is advancing more and more everyday at USC.

The Holy Spirit moves everywhere, whether it’s in the inner-city or on a college campus, and it’s all part of a divine scheme to bring Kingdom change to our world. What you experienced at LAUP didn’t start with LAUP and it’s not supposed to end with LAUP either. I’m doing this everywhere, and you can continue with me or you can mope around and whine all day every day, your choice. If you choose to continue with me, I will take you on a ride you will not forget, and THAT’S for real.

Ok God, you got me, let’s GO.

NOTE: I know this was a little long, but there was a lot to say. If I’m consistent, future posts won’t be this long. For shiz.

 

Black History Month

This article has been quite the hot topic on our campus in the last week. I’m gonna leave this link here and let you form you’re own opinion about it:

Black History Month?

Now I’m going to tell you my opinion. My opinion is this: I have no problem with the New University publishing people’s opinions on certain matters, but I would appreciate it VERY much if the opinions published were at least informed opinions. That’s all. I should write a letter of concern to the New University about this… but I figure their mailboxes are already being flooded.

Also, did anyone hear about what happened at UCSD? It all started with a collaboration of a few different fraternity members to “celebrate” Black History Month with a party. Here’s the actual description of the party:

“February marks a very important month in American society. No, i’m not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I’m talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.

For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey’s, stuntin’ up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.

For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes – they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red.
They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as “constipulated”, or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as “hmmg!”, or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces.
The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these “respectable” qualities throughout the day.

Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.

We will be serving 40′s, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not.”

Sigh… UCSD fraternities… are you fucking kidding me?

If it weren’t 4:00 a.m. right now I would write a blog post about what Black History Month means to me (yes, I know, I’m Asian… and yes, I know there’s only 1 day left in the month). But I’ll do that when I’m not tired.

 

Thoughts on Haiti

I was surfing ESPN.com the other day when I came across an article written a couple days ago about one NBA player’s efforts in Haiti. Here’s the link (my post will probably make more sense if you read the article).

Samuel Dalembert is the starting center for the Philadelphia 76ers and was born and raised in Haiti. As I read the article, my heart started getting heavier and heavier, partly because of the descriptions of the horrible circumstances in light of the earthquake, but mostly because the more I read, the more I started to get an idea of the way Dalembert views the situation in his country.

For most of us, it may be hard for us to see it from Dalembert’s perspective, because we aren’t Haitian-American or Haitians living abroad. How must it feel to have your home country so ravaged by such an event? For you to do everything in your ability to aid in relief efforts, but to know that no matter how much you do, there is still so much more that needs to be done? The people suffering in your home country are the people you grew up with: the kids you played with on the streets, your best friends from school, your childhood sweetheart, the owner of your favorite convenience store who would slip you a candy bar whenever you went in…. your family members.

It’s evident from the article that Dalembert feels a heavy burden, but he also feels a great sense of urgency. I picture him, with tears streaming down his eyes, pleading with us, “Is there anyone out there who can help my people?”. Even more, I picture Jesus, tears in his eyes, asking us the same question.

We can sit back and think “Yes, I want to help, but I’m only one person, how much of a difference can I make?” The truth is, that’s how Dalembert feels too. But he also says “I know I can save a lot of life. Making it just a little bit better.”

If only we were all able to see it from a native Haitian’s perspective…

 

Obsessions

Ok when I say “obsession” I don’t mean like people who stalk their favorite celebrity, but it’s an easier title than “people who really really like something or someone in the entertainment industry”.

So anyway, last night I was laying in bed thinking about Kobe Bryant’s latest game-winning buzzer-beater and how much practice and luck someone must need in order to pull something like that off. I remember thinking the same thing two weeks ago when Kobe did it against Miami, and also when LeBron did it against Orlando during last season’s playoffs. And then all the other times when people have done it as well. I often replay those scenes over and over again (both on ESPN.com and in my mind) asking myself questions like “Did he know that it was gonna go in?”, “With the amount of pressure he’s under, how does he keep his composure when he releases the shot?” and “I wonder if he’s gonna get cocky after the game.”

My point is that I’ve laid in bed thinking and reflecting on sports more times that I care to count. But last night, there seemed to be something tugging me away from those thoughts; as if God was asking me “Weley, you always talk about how much you want to spend more time reflecting on me and yet you keep thinking about Kobe… what up with that?!”

A few weeks ago, at our leadership meeting for my campus fellowship, a concern came up about the “obsessions” of 0ur fellowship. After our large group meetings, we often talk about everything from the latest episodes of our favorite TV shows to how many hours we spent on campus that day to how good the snacks are that week… everything but the worship and the message that was just given 10 minutes ago. We wanted to challenge our fellowship to start talking about (and asking for prayer for) the things that God is bringing up with them during the messages or bible studies. But another (maybe even bigger) problem is that the leaders weren’t modeling this for the rest of the fellowship. We’re having just as much fun talking about the TV shows and the snacks!! (It doesn’t have to apply to just a campus fellowship either, I notice this a lot in churches too). This is something that I want to be more convicted of in the future.

As a personal application, I think I’ll end everyday with a Prayer of Examen starting tonight… I think that’s could definitely be better than reflecting on Kobe…

 

Maiden Blog Post… this is a big deal…

Well, I’ve had a Xanga account for so long and I think it’s time for a change. I don’t have anything against Xanga, I just want to start something new.

Anyway, I recently turned 22 and it’s not that I had some amazing epiphany on my birthday, but I started to come to the realization in the last week that I am now in my twenties. That statement might have sounded weird… let me get real with ya’ll.

In my teens, I had always been proud of the fact that people found me to be “mature beyond my years”. I was a young guy who hung out with a lot of college-aged people. That’s not to say that I wasn’t still immature, but I think being under the influences of my friends, I understood a good thing or two about maturity. Then I came to college and found that I was not as mature as I thought I was. Actually, I realized that college students are immature too (but in a college context, immaturity just manifests itself in a different way).

All of a sudden, I was no longer in a position to think myself “better” than the people I hung out with at school. In fact, compared to some of my peers, I was just another goofy kid who talked a lot, doled out lots random and dumb facts about useless things, and dished out lame (and sometimes inappropriate) jokes. Hardly a respectable type of guy. And this realization hit me like a brick, but I started to dwell in this identity more and more because in my campus community, people enjoyed this about of me. In ministry, my extroversion made it easier for me to meet people and share my faith with them, to lead bibles studies and take risks for the Kingdom, all the while attracting people even more with my lame jokes and random facts.

Though as time went by, I no longer enjoyed being the goofy boy in the community. Sure, I still liked being random and silly, but I liked it because that’s who I am, not because of other people’s expectations. And then I started to wish that people would see me differently; as someone they could come to for advice and prayer if they were dealing with crap, someone they could trust. Then that led to feelings of insecurity because I started to believe that I wasn’t capable of offering advice or prayer, and indeed, those aren’t my strengths in ministry anyway. This would start a downward spiral of negative thoughts about my self-worth culminating at the beginning of this school year (my senior year of college). In my mind, I was thinking about graduation and my heart for ministry. I had, and still have, every intention of devoting my life to God’s work in the world after I graduate. But if I can’t even do it right on a college campus, how can I be expected to do anything right in the real world?! I was stressing about this more than I had ever stressed about it before, and it was making it harder to bring it to God in prayer, not to mention causing me to lose a lot of sleep.

Then in the midst of those difficult prayers, God stepped in like only He can and started in me a healing process that I had rarely experienced before. In almost every scripture I studied (alone or in small group), God brought up my issues. In Psalm 139, I learned that God created me with purpose and that I don’t need to be comparing myself to other people to find my worth. In Luke 15, I was reminded of my identity as a child of God and that despite my failures and shortcomings (and even my accomplishments), He loves me. He helped me to open up and share these struggles with my accountability partners and my community, all of whom affirmed me and challenged me to continue wrestling with these thoughts. Bit by bit, I began to dwell in the fact that my identity is rooted in Christ and not in what others think or expect of me.

I’m not gonna lie, this is an ongoing struggle and something I expect will be a struggle for a long time. I’m not even close to fully living in this truth that I am God’s beloved. Which leads me to what this story has to do with the fact that I am now in my twenties.

I am in my twenties and about to graduate college. And the truth of the matter is that practically, if I want to be in ministry in the future (and in fact, in any profession), I need to decide if the things that I let come out of my mouth and the actions that I make are truly reflecting the work that God is doing in me. I need to realize the truths that God has been revealing to me and at the same time let those truths guide my words and my actions.

In the last week, I’ve been realizing that practically, I’m not doing as much as I thought I was in terms of dealing with these issues. Someone I was talking to brought up the harsh reality that I almost live two different lives: one that loves Christ and is trying to mature in my faith and be influential to people, which is great; and one that is the goofy and loud college student who loves Kobe Bryant (which is also not all bad because that is part of how God has shaped me). But what I need to be doing is to try and integrate the two aspects and not compartmentalize my life.

SO… the result of all those thoughts is this new blog I’ve created. I’ve decided that I need a place where I can share the things that God has been teaching me and will continue to teach me, but also a place where I can still be the random Weley that I’ve always been.

My hope is that those of you who are willing would take this journey with me and allow me to share my life with you. Thank you =).